Relationships vs The single Life…

So this post is to see if it’s better being in a relationship or just easier living the single life…God help us… this review is done by me. A bloke. If I piss you off….well…I don’t give a fuck. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The 5am wake up call. When your other half starts blow drying her hair, why does it have to be so late at night or very early in the morning? Do women just do this to piss us off, maybe they think us men don’t like sleep! No thank you βœ–οΈ. This experience I would prefer to be single, get up at 10.34am, scratch my balls and think what’s for breakfast.

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So you’ve been working hard all week, it’s a Friday night you’re wondering what to do usually being single it’s straight to the pub and bars until early hours in the morning and getting a taxi back with a kebab and garlic mayo sauce, love it.

Now being in a relationship it’s either we go out for food and a few drinks get back around 11pm then wake up fresh, or we would stay in grab a take-away and watch a film. Now maybe my age is also coming into play here I used to love going out and partying but if you give me the option of a take-away and film it’s a very close call. To be fair the relationship life wins this, who can be assed waiting around in a bar at 3am still with my fishing rod out waiting to land a BBW or a blow-up doll I prefer to be at home with my wife, eating food and watching reruns of Friends, Single Life 1 Relationship 1βœ”.

going in vs going out

This is a very small issue but my god it winds my tits up, when you’reΒ single you can eat when you want and choose what you want but in a relationship it’s a very different story, I mean one week I will choose where to eat out and the week after it will be my partner’s choice, for me I love food and food loves me but there is nothing worse when you’re out shopping and it’s time to eat. I will say the dreaded question…. what would you like to eat? hmmm I dunno you choose!! Ok….. Nando’s πŸ™‚ I don’tΒ fancy that 😦 how about Pizza Hut? No we had Pizza last week. Arrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh just forget it haha. We’veΒ all been there and it’s a bloody piss take. Single life 2 Relationship 1.

I remember early-on in the relationship you wouldn’t dare go the bathroom for more than 1 min because your other half will know what you’re up to, There is nothing worse going round to your partner’s apartment or council flat πŸ˜› and your stomach starts rumbling then it’s the dreaded bum cheek clench to try to hold it in, at this point, last night’s chicken biryani is winning, so you start standing up looking around the place like your interested but it’s just a better position to be in so you don’t shit ya self but you also know you’re at the point of no return and you need to go and take a dump, you get in the bathroom/toilet/shitter you do your business and you’re a happy man, when back outside you quickly close the door and take your original seat. Still smiling inside everything is fine….. until…. she says the words…. I will just pop the toilet and we will go out, in your head you start thinking it’s to early in the relationship to give her the heads up? Do I just sit back and watch her emotions as she heads towards the door? what do you do? Ah fuck it just let her cherish the natural smell.

Being single I could have easily been in the toilet at least 30 mins and the only reason for me to get out was because my phone had died or I got a match on tinder and I couldn’t take a selfie on the shit box, being single you don’t have to wait around for your Mrs to get out of the bathroom you’re free to enter and leave at your own free will…. if I was rich maybe this wouldn’tΒ be a problem as I would have 2 bathrooms…. if there’s anyone out there that is rich please follow this arrow to the donate button (top right of my website) and supply me with a new bathroom —————————————————————————————————————–>

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take the hint^^^^^ right hand side πŸ™‚Β 

 

Thinking outside of the box and getting a 2nd bathroom this would mean a relationship would win, I don’t wanna go back to them first dates and shitting in someone’s house I barely know I prefer a 2nd bathroom and have my relationship….. I am laughing to myself πŸ™‚ Β Single Life 2 Relationship 2.

I’ve had enough of this post its a draw. You guys make your own decision πŸ™‚ Am going the shitter!!

oh 1 more thing…..

They say when you’re single you exercise more, guys this is why I am plus size……

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Categories: Fun Stuff

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